The Smell of Bacon

 

-With Training Camp around the corner and the 2021 season nearly upon us, we feel the momentum building. During this offseason, we have made significant progress in our rebrand journey and are entering a very exciting phase. We are now down to a shortlist of final names based on our strategic approach, research process, and insight phase.- <Jason Wright, President of the Washington Football Team>

The team formerly known as the Washington Redskins is in search of a new name. I’m not sure why because they have a new name. The Washington Football Club. That is as good as any name. But apparently not good enough. Sooooooo…. Let us help them out, shall we?

A football team that represents the cesspool of the country, in more ways than one. Should have a name indicative of the city they are a part of. How about the Washington Bureaucrats? Nothing ever gets done in Washington and if anything is done it usually brings painful results. That perfectly describes the football team for the last 20 years. How about the Washington Sinkhole Club. A lot of money spent with little to no positives results. How about the Washington Grifters? Washington D.C is the capital of grifters practicing graft. Hundreds of frauds and thieves from all parts of the country convene to eat, drink and live off of other people’s money. While they are there they bring in family and friends to partake in the graft. Grifting is like a family heirloom to politicians. They feel it is their birthright. How about the Washington BS Club. The motto could be the BS starts here. If they somehow make it to a Super Bowl and win they could say. Look, sometimes BS does rise to the top. I personally like the name the Washington Pork Skins. I’m amused by the name, the Washington Pork Bellies. I salivate at the name, the Washington Pork Chops. Anything with the word pork fits D.C. Why? Because there is always a ton of pork in anything Washington produces. But really. Why stop there. Why not rename the whole darn city. I’m sure George Washington detests any association with the pigsty that is present-day D.C. Let’s rename it Porkatropolis. Then the football team could be called The Porkatropolis Pork Rind Skins. Who can protest against a good pork rind